Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Let them eat cake!

Let them eat cake, or better yet let them not eat at all!

Ananish Chaudhuri

I wish to express my whole-hearted support for the proposed bylaw making begging illegal. I am surprised that it has taken the City Council this long to introduce this eminently sensible measure. Really! The nerve of this people; hanging out begging for money outside fancy restaurants while I am trying to enjoy my $40 plate of beef bourguignon!

Why can’t they get a job like the rest of us hard-working folks?

And come to think of it – why stop at begging? How about declaring poverty illegal?  Round up the poor folks sucking away at society’s tits for all their worth. For example, what is up with the free meals for kids in schools? If the parents cannot feed them, then let them go hungry. Why should my hard-earned tax dollars be used to help out poor moochers who are too lazy to work and earn a good living for themselves and their kids?

Also I read in the Herald that shoplifting is a major problem; around $2 million worth of goods in our stores are being stolen weekly probably by those same moochers who are too lazy to feed their own kids. I am not saying we should be chopping off their hands like they do in some middle-eastern countries. (Though I never quite understood why people get so upset about it. No hand means no appendage to shop-lift with; makes sense to me.) But at least can we not publicly flog them like they do in some countries?

I am sick and tired of all the abuse of tax-payer’s money. Look at me. I come from fairly humble beginnings but pulled myself up by my boot-straps. Yes, I went to tax-payer funded public universities and work at one, where I sit on my plush top floor office and stare out at the verdant expanse of the tax-payer funded Auckland domain. Yes, I drive over tax-payer funded roads on my way to my sumptuous abode in one of the leafy suburbs of Auckland. So what? I do not owe my success to anyone other than me. I deserve everything I have and I worked hard for it. No one gave me any hand-outs like these moochers constantly expect.

I am tired of this liberal welfare-state namby-pamby that we have an obligation to help out the less fortunate. Of course not! Have you guys never heard of “survival of the fittest”? Social Darwinism? Admittedly I have never actually read Darwin but I am sure that is exactly what Darwin said.  They are unfit and they deserve to be winnowed out.

There are way too many takers; people who are dependent on the government and believe that the state has some kind of obligation to provide them with food, with shelter, with housing and health-care.

I am also heartened by the maturity demonstrated by Aucklanders. Initially I was apprehensive that some people would be up in arms against this bylaw since it does violate a number of fundamental rights including the right of peaceful assembly. But clearly our citizens realize that tough times call for tough measures: clearly not every right is important and not everyone deserves to have their rights protected.

I commend the City Council for showing the fortitude of implementing something that we only talk about in hushed whispers behind closed doors in fancy soirees with no plebeians around.

What a brilliant solution to an entrenched social problem! Declare it illegal! I don’t know why no one thought of this before.

Now that it is no longer legal to beg, I bet the lazy buggers will get of their bums, clean up and find jobs and become productive members of society like the rest of us.

Ananish Chaudhuri is Professor of Experimental Economics and Head of the Department of Economics at the University of Auckland Business School.


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